Life is tough, im new to this, and i feel broken. Its been almost a year and a half since my horrible car accident. I have so many restrictions to the amount of weight i can lift/carry, and the amount of time i can do one thing with out being in horrible pain... my vertebrae do not sit they way they should since the accident, causing pain to be excruciating at times... I have not been able to see a dr because I dont have medical insurance so I have nothing to help with pain, except otc pain relievers.. which is whatever most of the time... i tend to try to sleep through the worst part of the pain. It has caused me to gain almost 25 lbs since the accident... I am now 100 lbs heavier than i was when I graduated high school 7 years ago... Im not looking to get back down to a size 5 by all means... I just would be happy to get down to a 12. I am sick of looking for clothes with 22 on the jeans... i pretty much give up on shopping because nothing fits right... I am short and round and it makes all the clothes horribly long... some capris just look like high waters, and shorts look like capris... its awful.
So recently I started getting up and eating something (even if it is just an apple) and going on with my day. I do only eat when I am hungry, and generally it isnt that often, but when i do eat dinner it is late, because my day starts late and ends late. I get up at maybe 12pm or 1pm, because I have problems falling asleep, which i have started meditating for that, im not generally falling asleep til 4 am or so. Anyways, I get up, eat an apple, check my email, clean the house *as much as i can before the pain hits* and by then its about 530 or 6 pm, which is the time i lace up my nike's and go walk the lake, its a small lake with lots of benches just in case i start hurting. ive been easing my way up, 1 lap at a time. The lake is about .5 of a mile around. i went from two laps to 4 laps and today i hit 6 laps and then walked to my car, a quarter mile away. so today i got about 3.5 miles in, and boy do i feel it. I love the freedom i feel when im walking, im not stressing about this or that, the animals arent driving me insane, i have the music on my phone going and dont answer any calls... its just me, my droid, and the ducks... which chase me sometimes.... its amusing... So anyways, i walk the lake and then head home to thaw out that nights dinner. My husband works until 9 or 10 pm most days and i cook dinner for him when he gets home, granted i do only eat a small amount *smaller than what I was eating and gradually getting smaller) i still let it sit... after dinner I get lazy, i watch tv, i get on the computer, and facbook becomes my enemy... I try not to stay on it too late, but by the time i look its already 330 am and ive been sitting here since midnight... I hate that feeling.
i feel great out there walking (and no i cant walk at night, there is a helo over my neighborhood as i speak, my house is too small for any work out equipment, and i cannot afford to go to a gym *that would be great* so I walk, and I wii... I bought the wii fit after my car accident because the therapist said it might help me with the streching in the yoga, but i can also do some of the other things to help me strengthen the muscles that werent being used for so long because of the pain... my goal is to lose at least 50 lbs and strengthen my body to REDUCE if not eliminate the pain. That isnt likey to happen (eliminating) but it might.... never know. Oh and to top things off, I was diagnosed with PCOS about 5 years ago... Lovely...
my meals arent always the best, but i do try to cook healthy, I use whole wheat pasta when making spaghetti, and i make my own sauce so i dont have all the crazy added chemicals and loads of salt from the jar stuff. I have 1 cheat day, and thats Thursdays for chicken wings =) and I make them myself I use boneless skinless chicken breast, in egg whites only, and flour then i put it in a pan of canola oil instead of lard or vegetable oil. i put them in a colander with paper towels to absorb the excess oil and then i baste them in wing sauce. All my meats are lean, I trim the fat off of everything, I eat LOTS of fruit and veggies, the breads i eat are whole wheat or multi grain. I dont eat a lot of potatoes anymore, and I have quit fast food. I haven't had sodas in ages, and I reduced the amount of sugar in my tea from 1 cup to 3/4 cup. its not a lot, but I drink more water then i do tea anymore so its okay to have a little bit right. Im not much of a sweet food eater. I prefer to have it only when i crave it.
Thanks in advance for any help that can be given, and please feel free to ask me anything if you have a question that you might be able to help me with... ♥
.jpg)
